the parrot bay rum; you can taste the coconut

I woke up to a hangover today without the fun part of actually drinking last night. So I am thinking I might be the hostage of some disease and what's sad is this won't even get me out of work because there's no one to replace me.

I am dead on my feet, dizzy and my mouth tastes like Pee Wee Herman's brain on wet toast. Blech. No matter how many Altoids I crunch on down, I feel like the next person I talk to is going to leave with their hair singed and their nostrils burning.

If you leave a tuna salad out on a wooden table three miles from home while a woman you don't know yells at you about her birthday in spanish and you think you have the right to buy your girl best friend panties for Christmas but you're worried about what your boyfriend and her mother will think of you if you do, what color is the sky you rode to work on?

I should have a little captain in me. I'd at least have an excuse.