ok, so i am dinking some vodka (sky) because my bf suggested i drink A little because people at work (god damn you) asked me to be there on a day off I asked for In novEMber.

hahahHA they won't ask me to wokr on a day off AGAiN!~! at least not whan i come in with a hangover. hahahah.

anyway, I dounf this funny:

Too Funny

Okay, this stuff was too funny, to me anyway. So, I know many people won't get half this stuff, but if you do understand any of it, post it in your journal too!


- If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Minnesota.

- If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Minnesota.

- If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy", you might live in Minnesota.

- If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Minnesota.

- If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Minnesota.

- If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Minnesota.

- If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Minnesota.

- If you know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi, Edina and Shakopee, you might live in Minnesota.

- If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in Minnesota.

- "Vacation" means going up north past Brainerd for the weekend.

- You measure distance in hours.

- You know several people who have hit deer more than once.

- You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.

- You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

- You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.

- You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

- You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.

- You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.

- There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time.

- You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

- You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.

- You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

- You consider Minneapolis exotic.

- Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.

- Down South to you means Iowa.

- A brat is something you eat.

- You go out to a fish fry every Friday.

- You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."


yeah., laugh or don't. i am enjoying my clean blue YUKCY csky!

bye,

That was exactly what I wanted.

After all, what young Florida woman doesn't want her shampoo to freeze into semi-solid chunks in the morning and the hard candy she left out to melt at noon?!?

Florida pisses me off.

teh gym, teh run... away that is

THE GYM appears in your horizon. Big and scary bold letters because it is THE GYM. You have your bag with you, your water, your book, your MP3 player and your keys that you are so NOT going to lock in the locker and have to have the big butch lady with the lock-cutters come in and kill your pretty $10 pink lock.

Pink is not you anyway. It's Lana. Now the cutting is funny, but still it's $10 down the drain almost instantly and next time you'll get the yellow and orange one that was out of stock.

Anyway, you are crossing the parking lot where you parked far away from the entrance. You tell yourself that it's because you are not yet proficent at parking, but you know that's not it as you do fine at work. It's because you want time to be able to back out of it before those glass doors close in on you and you're trapped until you do at the very least 20 minutes of cardio.

So you're corssing the lot, determined ahead and all these things cross your mind.

BAD: The cute guy at the front desk will look at you and wonder why the chubby girl is even bothering. And why is she dressed like that?
Good: If you keep coming here you won't be chubby.
BAD: The feeling of intimidation that serious every-day-of-the-week gymbirds give you.
Good: You'll be hot enough to move on to muscle building someday soon.
BAD: The fact that it's always packed when you are able to go because there are more people that will see you.
Good: The fact that it's always packed when you are able to go because there are more people so you are harder to pick out.
BAD: Thin people. They are your arch enimies.
Good: Thin people. They are your inspiration. They WILL be you brethren.
BAD: The fact that your MP3 player's battery dies just as you were beginning to forget the outside world and since you had your MP3 player and were going to run you didn't think you needed your book which is literally as far away as it could get still being in the building and not dumped in the pool and by the way, all the treadmills are either used, broken or buggered up with 'neccesary gym fat guy' sweat so now you are on one of those ski-tread things and you tell yourself that it's fine, you burn more calories, but really you wanted to run because running is pushing yourself. It's all about endurance and run-on sentences.
Good: Making goals.
BAD: Making your goals smaller halfway through the exercise.
Good: Finishing.
BAD: Feeling like everyone else thinks you are a wimp because you finished first.
Good: You feel strong.
BAD: You sit down to stretch and see that the chick behind you would be able to stick her tongue up her butt if she were so inclined, meaning that you are stiff and short and fat.
Good: Not caring because you feel proud of yourself.
BAD: Locker rooms.
Good: Leaving the locker room.
Good: Leaving the gym.
Good: Leaving the parking lot.
Good: Investing in your body on a regular basis makes you a healthier person that is more alert to what you are putting in your body and mouth. You want to protect the work you have done and are less likely to binge.

So, anywho. Just another day at the gym. Goddamn MP3 player.

Um, yeah. Rar, rar.

I wrote this last night on my live journal. I was a little grumpy.

I am THE RECEPTIONIST!!

NOT THE SECOND COMING!!

I know all you peeps on the phone, all you members think you are special and that I, The Jesus Christ Superstar of all Receptionism, love you more than any other member, but fuck all! IF SOMEONE IS BUSY OR ON THE LINE, I CAN ONLY TRANSFER YOU THEIR FUCKING VOICEMAIL. I cannot magically:

a) make a duplicate of them so that you can speak to them
b) make them hang up and talk only to you when you call and pretend the hundreds of members and who knows how many consolidators just plain don't fucking exist.
or
c) pull a brand new travel agent out of my ass.

I hate you all. Go send your prayers elsewhere, I am sorry, this deity is out to fucking lunch.

Thank you,
Jesus the Receptionist

geoff shakes it like a Polaroid picture

So now I have to start taking the bus. That is unless I buy a moped this Friday. I hope I do, bacause you just know I can't wait to have absolutely nothing between me and the open road, me and those wonderful, thoughtful, careful Florida drivers. I can't wait to get on my 49CC bike and strap an inch-thick plastic guard around my noggin and put my life in the hands of others more so than when I ride in a car.

I was taught no money skills and that I would have to wait to learn to drive. So I'm a spaz at both and am learning the hard way which is probably best. With money, not driving. Ha.

I got my license at, what? 20? No, I think it was 21. And now I am working while my guy goes to school, so even if I had the mad money skilz, I couldn't pay for insurance. No bling for me.

A moped it is then. And let me just say, it was good knowing you all. I am going to die.

And when you capitalize a letter you say "capitalize". So why did she tell me to 'graduate' the N? Arg.

my toilet broke

Does anyone else think it's funny that I woke up to three inches of water on my bedroom floor New Year's Day? I thought it sort of set the tone for the new year. Not a bad tone as our house is now clean, but... more like a 'this year is going to be exciting and good for you, even if it's hectic, no fun and has you wearing highwaters' kind of tone.

At least it wasn't sewage. That would have been an entirely different kind of tone.